Do you have an awesome marriage? A marriage that you can lean on during tough times? A marriage that is safe, fun, and fulfilling? Do you want a marriage like that?
With such high divorce rates and a younger generation that is avoiding marriage all together, is an awesome marriage like I’ve described even possible? I believe it is. IF both husband and wife work together, and submit to God, in an effort to make it awesome.
From my expierence and my understanding of the Bible, I believe there are 4 keys to making a marriage awesome. They are love, physical intimacy, marital roles, and conflict resolution. Please, allow me to explain.
When we choose to get married, its usually because we love the person. But love is more than an emotion. Love is something you do. In 1 Corinthians 13 the Bible says,
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV
This is the kind of love that makes an awesome marriage. This is the way that God loves us. Completely and perfectly. The trouble is, we’re human. We can strive to be patient, kind, humble, hopeful, and all that. However we are not perfect. We have moments of selfishness. We hold grudges sometimes, or get angry quickly. I think that is part of why the Bible tells us,
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 NIV
When we really care about and love our spouse, we can more easily forgive and be forgiven for our sins and mistakes.
When we love deeply and do our best to love our spouse like God does, we are on our way to an awesome marriage.
Physical intimacy is another essential part of a strong and healthy marriage. God made us in such a way that we would have a physical and emotional need for touch and sex. Every individual and every couple will experience this need differently, but it’s there. God blessed this part of our lives and marriages right from the start. The Bible says,
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 1 Corinthians 7:3 NKJV
God created physical intimacy, including cuddling, kissing, and sex, to unite a couple and bring them together as a unit. Acting as one unit, and fulfilling each others needs as best we can is an important part of maintaining an awesome marriage.
Marital roles are kind of a taboo subject in today’s culture. Nobody wants to be told to respect or submit to someone else, and nobody wants to be held responsible for someone else. I, personally, think that’s part of why marriages are failing or being avoided now. But, if we stick to God’s plan for marriage, it can be awesome.
What is God’s plan for our roles in marriage? I wrote a piece called Know Your Place that explains more about this topic. To explain it more here, let’s look at some more scripture.
Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, Ephesians 5:24-25
Taken out of context, these verses have been abused. But if you really think about it, they are beautiful.
Women are to be subject to their husbands in the same kind of way the people of God are subject to Jesus Christ. Let’s think on that for a moment. It doesn’t mean to be a doormat or accept abuse. Jesus doesn’t walk all over or abuse His people! It doesn’t mean wives are not allowed to have an opinion or discuss issues. God’s people are encouraged to come to him boldly (Hebrews 4:16)! We women are to be subject to our husbands in that we follow his lead, respect his ways of doing things, and trust him to provide for and protect us.
Husbands are told to love their wives the way that Christ loves us. So let’s think again about how Christ loves us. He is patient, kind, and protective. Jesus was a servant leader, to the point of washing His disciples’ feet and then being crucified for our sins. That is a high calling on our men. A calling to provide for, protect, and care for his wife to the best of his ability, up to and including laying his own life down for her.
When we as husbands and wives fulfill our roles in marriage to the best of our ability, we can have an awesome marriage.
There will be conflict in every marriage. As humans, we make mistakes, make rude comments when we’re tired or hungry or stressed, and sometimes make selfish choices. Though we strive for perfection, it is unattainable until we finally reach heaven. God knows, and therefore gave us some tools in His word to help resolve our conflicts. For example,
So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath James 1:19
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
When we apply God’s word and God’s way of doing things to our lives, we can save ourselves and those around us some pain and stress. When we act in love, remembering that we are one flesh, and handling conflicts that arise the way God tells us to, we can get through them quickly and move on with our lives to the goal He has for our marriage.
God wants His people to have awesome marriages, and use them to shine His light into this ever darkening world.
Scripture Writing Plan
I have created a scripture writing plan that can help you work toward having an awesome marriage! It includes all the verses I cited here, along with others to make a 30 day plan that will further teach you and encourage you in each of these 4 key areas. To get it, all you have to do is click on the graphic below or use the subscribe form (below or in the side bar depending on what technology you’re using) to become a site member, and I will send you the password to my Freebie Library!